“I’m facing the biggest crisis of my career!” Sometimes we might be being dramatic about the situation we find ourselves in, but sometimes we are truly faced with a legitimate crisis that seems insurmountable. Maybe this is a sudden death in the family; being unexpectedly laid off from a job; illness or even what seems like a run of bad luck. If you’ve never faced these situations before (or even if you’ve have), the feelings and practicalities can be overwhelming.
Crisis coaching is a pragmatic form of coaching, focusing on the difficult situation you might be currently facing, and provides you with tools to move forward and become more future looking. This coaching methodology responds to the urgent issues, deals with the deeper dynamics of the problem and creates a sustainable action plan.
I chatted with one of my clients, Crystal, after we had completed a program of crisis coaching. Crystal explained her crisis, and how she was coached through it.
THE “CRISIS”
“Over two years ago, I was pursuing a completely new and different path from my previous career. To make the switch it was necessary to complete additional academic qualifications, but at first I was faced with the uncertainty of whether I would be accepted by any of the educational programs that I desired. When I eventually did begin my study, I had difficulty working with my supervisor, with whom I worked closely on a couple of projects. I constantly felt that he did not recognise the challenges that I was facing and he frequently disregarded my concerns when I tried to share with him. As such, when we met for work, I always felt anxious and discouraged because of his behaviour and his comments."
“Despite living in the middle of this situation, I actually didn’t acknowledge I was experiencing a personal crisis. When a crisis happens, it is not always easy to realise its emergence - I guess I was in shock and overwhelmed. So when I ran into Amy, who is an old friend, but also a coach I was in a confused internal state. Neither of us would have imagined that our catch-up would turn out to be a crisis coaching session.”
MY EXPERIENCE DURING COACHING
“Typically people don’t get coaching from close friends, but Amy was a very attentive friend and professional coach. I shared that every time I needed to meet with my supervisor, it felt like I was hitting a huge mountain very hard. Amy’s coaching training and intuition meant that she was able to pick up the signals that I implicitly sent through the words I used to describe the situation. She asked me a few questions:
‘Is he the only mountain?
Could there be possibilities that something else is the mountain?
Why don’t we try to focus on you, instead of the mountain that seems to be fixed in your mind?’”
“These questions were inspiring and encouraged me to change my perspective. I started to look at the bigger picture of my whole internal state, instead of fixing my focus narrowly on my supervisor’s actions. I could then open my heart and eyes more to explore the anxiety that I had about my own future. I had more clarity on the demanding requirements that I was placing on myself even though I was a newbie to this academic field. I realised that my confidence was shaken, which was causing me to need to seek external approval. At the end of our chat, the mountain remained there; however, I saw myself as an explorer who had the skills and tools to make the climb, and embrace working towards my new career as a journey rather than a destination. I regained the perspective that I need to give myself time to cross the valleys and peaks.”
"I realised that my confidence was shaken, which was causing me to need to seek external approval."
“Besides being a supportive coach, Amy was also a great resource and offered me practical tools that I use even now. Yes, sometimes obstacles still come up, and we might have limited energy to deal with all of the problems. When we are stressed, we also tend to over emphasise the severity of every problem which causes us to go into a negative spiral.
EMOTIONAL TRAFFIC LIGHT
Amy gave me a gift of the ‘traffic light’ system, where I place whatever emotion I am feeling in the moment under a red, yellow or green rating. I still use this tool to take a pause and identify whether I ‘allow’ the issues to affect me. Gradually I recognised that many issues fall into the yellow category: I instantly feel negative and want to react, but they are ultimately not critical issues. This moment of pause helps me acknowledge the immediate impact on me, but also helps me regain control of my subsequent reactions.”
“My crisis was not an obvious threat to my job or life, but often these hidden crises to our well-being, self-esteem, or treasured relationships might be even harder to tackle. My last takeaway is that it is important not to wait until the crisis completely explodes.”
“I found that my hidden crisis eventually became an opportunity that supported me to grow.”