Image credit: The NeuroCommunity Foundation
Whether it is taking care of aging parents, terminally ill family member, or surviving family of the deceased due to sudden and traumatic death, I have been there and the journey continues.
When I look back, it was extremely hard and sometimes even devastating. But when we were in the process, one could easily drown in the crisis without aware of the fatigue and desperate feelings. There was an extremely high intensity of emotions, struggles and even conflicts. But what was behind all these chaos, tears, blames, worries, fights and pain was really a deep level of love and care for each other. We just react differently when under pressure and we have different mechanism to deal with our own inner fear.
Professor Charles Kuen Kao (高錕) is the recipient of Nobel Prize in Physics in 2009. Respectfully known as the "Father of Fibre Optics", Professor Kao's groundbreaking achievements concerning the transmission of light in fibers for optical communication, turned optical fiber communication into reality, eventually heralding "the age of the Internet".
Professor Kao is an Alzheimer patient. Mrs Gwen Kao, as his primary carer, said that the stress on the care giver is tremendous when this stage is reached; someone has to be there in attendance all the time. The emotional toll is terrible. To see a loved one disintegrating, from a highly intelligent person, alert and quick to understand, to become a very different person. There is a lot of anger, then grief for a person who has died. It is not like a normal death where the body has gone, a time for mourning and then to get on with life. The person is still physical here. And the wound stays open, never healing. (Words from Gwen Kao)
Mrs Gwen Kao strongly encouraged caregivers to take some time off or else they could easily get depression.
Suggested practice
take a break from caregiving eg take a walk, meet a friend for lunch, watch a funny show or movie, go to the gym or yoga class
practise for short periods of time and do it frequently (時間短, 次數多)
make it a habit, and share your experience with family and friends
Further information:
Interview with Mrs Gwen Kao (3.05 mins)
Symptoms of caregiver burnout (5.46 mins)
Comentarios